Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Flipside to Unfriending

It blows my mind how many ways there are to stay connected to someone: calling, texting, e-mail... And now with the advent of social media tools like Twitter and Facebook which you can usually do ALL off of your mobile phone, it's virtually impossible NOT to know what someone is doing by just moving through a few clicks. Really it's genius. Log in for 10 minutes and you know who's getting married, what parties are happening all across the U.S., what people are feeding their imaginary pets, and when they've decided to "Like" that random movie or a new phone they want to buy. Basically, TMI with a crazy busy interface.

Anyway, acknowledging all this, I kind of dig the fact that there is some choice in who you follow, whose updates you get and so forth. And in extreme cases, enter the "unfriend" function (how cool is it that it was the Word of 2009?). Someone you barely know driving you nuts? Have a rough break-up? That's the ticket -- removing them from your friends automatically makes them vanish and creates a filter for you.

Another way I've discovered this really works? When it comes to dealing with old flames and/or exes. I discovered this the hard way not too long ago with Jason. While things are simmering between us, it comes and goes, and I've allowed myself to bob and weave against my better judgment.

I also found that as he started to surface again in my life, I let myself keep up with him through things like Facebook. I mean, it's normal to check on your friend's profiles, write  messages on their Walls, comment on photos... But maybe not as much when you've got a wacky romantic history like he and I do.

Now this next part's hard to admit, but I have to in order to make sense of what I learned...

Soon, I found myself going to his page more than even I liked. And when I spotted several pictures of him and a cutesy brunette, I froze up a bit. Suddenly, I found myself dealing with a pang of jealousy thinking of a girl that seemed quite close to him... In a way that I hoped he'd see me. And that's when I felt like someone that gave too much of a damn -- more than I certainly like. So last night, after bobbing back and forth, I used the unfriend function. (Only the third time since I've been on the networking site)

Granted, it was bugging me to do... And I am wondering whether that brunette was the one he was with during one of our separation spells. But, what I realized here is that I like my sanity more. So, checking his page will not help matters any nor will it undo what's happened before me. 

If we do figure things out with us, then with a little time, I'm OK with being friends on the page again.  Besides, there are several ways to stay in touch. For now, I'm just giving myself one less avenue in which to do it... And if he wants to be friends again on any level... Well, I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it.

Photo Credit: Adam Borkowski/PhotoXpress