Thursday, February 4, 2010

All That Glitters...

...Is not gold.

That's the moral of this story. Let me put that out there now.


The story itself is actually pretty darn simple: Jackson, who seemed to be emerging as a nice lookin' prospect in my life is no longer.

I know, I know. That was QUICK.

And I agree. It was. After seeing him again earlier this week and having a nice, fun, and intimate night... I learn just today that a girl with whom he thought things were over has suddenly decided she wanted to work it out.
And he decided that he did too.
And, it was decided it would be all over via text. I'm paraphrasing but it went like this:

Me: Hope you're well. Still love to see you later on Friday. You game?
Him: Can we talk? My situation has changed.
Me: Level with me. What is it?
Him: It was a woman I was seeing. I thought it was dead, but now she wants to fix things.
Me: Say no more. I don't really have anything I want to say to that.
Him: I had no idea, or I would have never tried to start things with you.
Me: Seems like you know where you stand. I respect that -- bummed but glad you know what you want. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Him: Thanks. I'm sorry.

So that's it. Just like that. And truth? Yep, I am bummed. But appreciate his honesty. Doesn't make it hurt less. But, feeling a serious case of "the one before the one."

Guess it's time to go back to the drawing board on this one. If anyone has some seriously fun suggestions for me to channel my energies this weekend, I'm all for it. :-)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

An Open Letter: Love You Like a Brother

Preface: How do you break it to someone when you're not into them? Truth is, it's never easy. And we deal with it all sorts of ways... Sometimes we run, sometimes we dance around the truth and sometimes we're brutal. But, how about just being honest?

Novel concept, I know. But, it's this very situation happening to one of my girlfriends, Marisol. So, for this post, I took an attempt at writing a letter that would gently break the news to a guy.

I'm all about softening the blow, diplomacy, blah, blah... But that's just me.

So with that said, here goes nothin':
"Hey you,

I don't know how to tell you how awesome I think you are. Seriously. We've been close from the start, and it's only grown since then to be this solid friendship for me -- a friendship with someone I genuinely respect, admire and appreciate in my life.

Knowing you the way that I do, I've realized that I love what we have now and that it's for me to see you outside of that.

Even as I say this, it's hard because I know things have gotten complicated. But, hoping you can trust our relationship -- I want you to know it's the best way for me to let you know how I'm feeling. But I'm also loving the idea of a drink or dinner, too. Let's talk soon?

Always,
Me"

I know it sounds like dancing around the issue... It always does. But somewhere you need to reaffirm a friendship. And if you're friends, you'll make it through...

After the whole weirdness thing clears up, of course.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Take Love Slowly

"...We don't have to rush the night away... There's always going to be another day...A time to make love and a time to play... What I'm trying to say, take love slowly..."
- Don't Rush (Take Love Slowly), K-Ci & JoJo

What do you do when you meet someone and the chemistry is instant? Do you run with it, or do you wait?

Now this conversation is probably as old as time, and has been discussed often (my personal fave? Single City Guy's post on the 90 Day Rule). However, it's been a long while since I've actually had to put it to the test, which is exactly what happened tonight.

This past Friday, while out with my colleagues, I met an incredibly good looking guy, Jackson. When he approached me, I had no idea I was the target, but I was certainly pleased when he asked for my number. We spoke the following day, and made plans to go out tonight.

I was nervous about what to expect, and a small part of me didn't really expect anything to come out of it. However, our fluid conversation and clear physical chemistry made it apparent that there was potential. And I was totally into it.

Anyway, we went out for coffee later, when we were very playful and romantically flirting with each other. The vibe was electric and I knew that I was feeling it bubble up inside.

As the night progressed, we talked about the idea of what would come next... And I told him flat out that if he were into hooking up only, he should just level with me -- after all, it would save us a lot of time to not play that game. He responded that it was because he was into me that he would go against what he was feeling and would hold back while we figured it all out.

While headed home, I thought about the night, and about Jackson, realizing that while I felt the fire, I realized I was happy that we pulled the breaks on it. Many a time, I've made the mistake of riding the chemistry wave only to have it blow up in my face.

But this time it's looking good... Because for now, he seems to want to play it patient. And that's feeling nice. Treading lightly though -- in case this is game of its own. And not trying to be bound by overly traditional rules. Actually, trying something new and making them up as I go. (**Smile**)

Who knows where this will go? Juggling a lot in my life, but right now, I'm riding out the patience wave... And hopefully that'll lead to the fire I've wanted.