I mean, it's like throwing darts at a target and missing the bulls eye: MISS: A guy who has mommy issues... MISS: A guy that sponges off others..... MISS: A guy that doesn't call... MISS: A guy that's afraid of monogamy... MISS: A guy who's too into the physical and not much else... You see where I'm going.
Basically, it's these and similar types of traits that should tell us that a person may not be the best choice for us. BUT, many times, we ignore what our instincts tell us because we want to be wrong or just crave the temporary companionship.
Anyway, I can think of many a time I've ignored my instincts to let a guy back in my life that just shouldn't be, such as the repeat issue with the Casanova or most recently, even Jason... Guys with which I had an amazing physical chemistry (or something equally superficial), but never seems to evolve into anything more. Did I want it to be more? Very much so. But soon enough, I learned that in the same way that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, so you can't make a guy be what he doesn't want to be. So no seduction or randomly "fun" moments are enough to sustain a guy's interest... Which means if he wants to be there for a potential romantic interest, he will.
So what it boiled down to for me? Trust my instincts when I have a bad feeling about a guy. Sure, you need to watch for the fine line between locking your heart down and being too open-minded (I know I do!). But, the second there's a bad instinct about a guy... Maybe it's time to ignore the butterflies and pay attention to those signs. That way, there's a better chance on saving on a little heartache.
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3 comments:
So true! Why on Earth do we do this???
You know, I think it's a mix of two things: (1) wanting to be wrong because we like a person so much and (2) Because we're secretly afraid of what we can't control so we deal with the things we should ignore but don't (like signs when a guy is no good for us)
Essentially, I think we like to think that extreme attraction can become more... And because it's our nature to want someone, we ignore the signs of when they're bad news... Just because we don't want to believe that we won't find someone that will make us feel as good.
To that end, I'd argue that women are MUCH more accommodating of a man's faults. We often compromise, and it doesn't make us feel any better about ourselves when things end. So maybe, if we weren't as forgiving then maybe we weed out the guys that we know we can never be. We at least deserve the chance to find that much.
Great post! I've written several blogs myself on this same topic, including one that's going to post tomorrow. I think it's something in our make up as women that we allow ourselves to look past character flaws or even red flags.
Recently, I dated this one guy and we were both physically attracted to one another. Despite him telling me he was a "serial dater", in my mind I kept thinking oh he's just saying that, I can change him. Fast forward a couple of months, we go out like once a month, rarely talk on the phone or even communicate outside of GChat or texting. I've finally realized although he keeps apologizing for not doing better, it's not going anywhere. When this happens I always feel foolish for convincing myself otherwise. All I can say, I simply blame this behavior on being a woman.
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www.savvydating.wordpress.com.
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