The last time I officially used the "boyfriend" title, I was in high school. It was my senior year and we were as opposite as opposite gets. But, he asked me out in front of the entire school, performing "If I Ever Fall in Love" with the school's acapella group and like any high school girl, I swooned. After he was done, he'd came down off the stage to tell me how much he was ready to put everything else aside and have us only be with each other. "I want you to be my one and only," he said.
Well, at 17, what's a girl to say to that? Of course, this kind of declaration of love isn't common. But, at that age, it's easier to "make a commitment", with hormones pulsing at lightening speeds. What is the next step once you like someone? You make it official, of course.
These days, when you're seeing someone, dating, of course, is always the first step. But what happens next? Well, it's easy if both parties feel the same way. But if they don't?
In the one and only long-term "relationship" I had, during the height of it all, we were spending most of our free time together and we were only being intimate with each other. Essentially we were going through all the motions of being a couple. But, when I finally told him how I felt (that I loved him) and that I wanted to be able to call him my boyfriend, that didn't work for him. He was comfortable with us being "exclusive" but adding the title meant too much responsibility...
And that's when I ended things. If he didn't want me to call him boyfriend, I couldn't act like nothing was wrong. We tried again when he said he missed me and wanted us to make another go. But, we broke up again over pretty much the same reason. And it was that second time when I learned that the reason we broke up is because he was still holding on to his old flame. So as long as we were "exclusive" but not "committed" then he could play it safe until he could be with someone with whom he wanted to commit.
Either way, since then, I've made a mental note to have the conversation as soon as it seems like things are getting serious. That way there's no confusion... Or time-wasting for that matter.
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