Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The dangers of being needy

When I first started dating, I was immediately caught up in how I should behave in a new relationship: How often should I call or text? How long should I wait before expressing how I feel? How often do I suggest getting together? Do I call him after the first date or wait for him to follow up?

While this does happen today -- although not nearly as frequently as it did, say five years ago -- I can say I've improved my "radar" on these things, trusting my gut and hoping that if the guy is into me, these rules won't matter

Anyway, I can't say that this same philosophy resonates with all the men in my life. For example, I met this guy, Aaron, while on a business trip a little while back. We met in passing so we never really got to talk. But, given the fact that he was pretty adorable, I gave him my number to trade a couple of texts. And, when I left the following day, I assumed that was the end of it. Boy was that wrong.
Since then, he's been incessantly texting me, and all sorts of messages that I guess can be seen as romantic for some -- but to me seem a little needier than I prefer my men to be... They include him talking about how he love my "aura," believes that meeting me was "destiny," is in love with my eyes (for the two seconds he saw them) since they're the "window to the soul"...

Yes, yes -- I KNOW. How cliche.

I've questioned his authenticity REPEATEDLY, but unless he's putting up really good game (which isn't working), I'd say that he's bordering on trying too hard and being a bit too attached.

Now, this attention isn't something I'm used to. However, now that I'm experiencing it, I'm realizing that there really is a such thing as too much.

I can't say that I see a future with Aaron and myself, considering our distance of hundreds of miles and his overly proclaiming his interest in me without as so much as knowing my last name. However, by talking to him, I have been given a gentle reminder of what it looks like when you get too intense. And if that prevents me from scaring away a potential mate, then I'm quite all right with that.

Image Credit: Photoxpress

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