Saturday, February 13, 2010

Not So Chance Encounters

Saturday, February 13, 2010
In all my time dating in the ever booming Chicago social scene (half kidding here, folks), I can say that I've rarely had run-ins with any old flames. With the exception of maybe Charles (see here, here, here and here for reference) who happened to live in my neighborhood and work within close proximity of me, I've been lucky to dodge most of the men that have come and gone in my life.

Well, most of them.

See, I'm not one to be too superstitious. However, truth be told, I don't believe in simple coincidences when something -- or someone -- keep resurfacing in your life. On the contrary, those are the very things that to me are flags that the universe is trying to tell me something.

But I digress. Besides, that's a whole other conversation.

Anyway, I was out at a networking event, having a pretty good time when I spotted a man that I recognized right away. Slick smile, dark eyes, nice build... In short I was smitten, and the feeling had been an all-too-familiar one -- like I'd seen this guy before -- and that he'd had the same effect on me then.

So, seeing as how I'm on this boldness kick for 2010, I asked him if I knew him (literally, "Have we met before?"), acknowledging how cliche I may have sounded. And, when he spoke, I knew.

I'd met the guy, Martin, while I was out on the town more than three years ago. We'd met at a Friday night social at one of the city's museums and hit it off (so I thought). Traded numbers and made plans to meet. But that never materialized.

I had long put it out of my mind when I met him a second time, more than 6 months later. That exchange wasn't so nice. But admittedly I was still drawn to him (and that smile). Nothing ever came of that, so I again put it out of my head.

So, with all that time passed and all that's transpired since then, he was the furthest thing from my mind. And seeing him again? I was completely taken aback. But curious all the same, which is why I approached him.

Anyway, what came after that was some superficial conversation -- I mean, I decided I needed to keep it light and breezy so he wouldn't know that I still thought he was HOT. Because truth was, I did.

So it was while I was trying to play it cool that he pulls out his phone, showing me he still had my number saved. And this made me chuckle:

Me: It's cute you have it in there. But it's not like you used it.
Him: Yeah, but I have it. I'm not a deleter.... Seriously, I'm sorry about then but this is now.
Me: Of course. It's a different time. And if you want to find me, then at least I know you know how. But that's all you.
Him: Well I'll do that.
Me: (shrugging) We'll see.

And that's it. It parted with a very "up in the air" vibe. But this time that's OK. Because I realize now that the mistake I made the last two times I met him was putting too much stock into the idea of him. Instead, all I needed to do was NOT do the typical thing -- invest too much time in the possibility of being with him. (Isn't hindsight 20/20?) In the meantime, not holding my breath.

See! You date enough and you learn a thing or two.

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