Saturday, February 20, 2010

A Little Distance and a Lot of Rules

We all have ways of dealing with our emotions. Some make jokes when they're nervous, some people get quiet when they're angry and others blush when they're embarrassed.

But, when you're into someone, what do you do? Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Or do you clam up and hide behind the rules you're "supposed" to follow in dating so as not to appear weak?

Well, honestly, I'd say that I'm the queen of the latter when it comes to the courting stages -- keep a little distance and follow a lot of "rules," mostly of my own creation. See, when it comes to being into someone, my approach has been to not be needy, and only give in when I think they're into me.

So, to get "gender bias" I try to play like a guy at first... A touch of standoffish but keep them wanting more.

Now to me, this seemed fool-proof (After all, ladies, how many times have you chased after a guy that seems to be a bit distant?) But, given the standstill I've had in the relationship department I would say it doesn't work too well.

So, what I'm coming to understand is that distance + too many rules = self-imposed obstacles to getting what you want.

Where is this coming from? Well, I saw Jackson last night. And, we had another awesome night -- which felt a lot like our first date. It was fun, natural and easy. Which is so hard to come by.

After some talking about the last time we saw each other, it's clear that a lot of mutual wires were crossed... And, hearing some of the things he had to say (i.e. assuming he was talking about me), I'm also understanding that I didn't help it by writing him off simply because I was afraid to ask questions. At that point, was it really about his ego? Or was it about avoiding the bruising of my ego? You know, I'm not quite sure. Maybe it was a bit of both.

At this stage in the game, the jury is still out on what comes next. But at the moment, all I need to know is that I'm having a good time. And while I'm not in over my head, I'll consider opening up little by little. At least until I have a reason to tear it all down. I don't have that yet...

1 comment:

  1. Hello R Diva!
    Well let me first say I am just now viewing your blog as of last night and I am loving it; I can relate to alot of it. Also, my blog will be launching soon it's actually already on blogger just no content; but I feel the inspiration running up on me so I will keep you posted. Just wanted to say DITTO to this post because on the day you posted it ironically was my 2nd date with W. And things are going LOVELY but I do insist on a little distance otherwise me personally will be all over this dude acting like wifey so instead I choose to EASE BACK AND WAIT (advice from one of the blogs you subscribe to, Evan Marc Katz). He just told me this yesterday. W has already asked to see me again but just hasn't solidified when and that is fine...but it had me wondering "Oh does he really really like me or what?" doubts creeping in but like you I have no reasons to worry and he is a great guy from what he has shown me; and I am enjoying myself so I will keep you posted. Keep me posted on Jackson.