Friday, January 22, 2010

"It's Complicated"

When it comes to dating situations, I find that not defining things is the safest way to go. That is, avoiding the labels and letting things go where they may -- at least until both parties are sure they want to be with each other.

Where is this coming from? Well, a while back I made mention of a "telephone courtship" I was having with a guy I'd met through the online dating thing. I was skeptical at first, and when we did a LOT more phone conversation than actually seeing each other, I just got discouraged. Truth is, I really did like him but if it wasn't moving ahead, then why get invested? And, our distances and demanding work lives did nothing to help the situation.

So, I moved on. Sure, I talked to him, but I didn't focus on being with him so as to not drive myself crazy. Heck, we'd tried to get together on multiple occasions, canceling on each other, picking mini-fights when one bailed on the other... What's the point if we can't make it work?

But then we started talking again. And he -- who we'll call Sean -- ended up telling me that he was bummed about how things went and that he really did want to try things out. And, thinking I had nothing to lose (while recalling how I did feel about him) told him I felt the same. And we started making plans again.

Fast forward to early this week. Given the business holiday, he ended up coming in over the weekend for his birthday. We ended up painting the town red with some drinks, laughs, flirting, professing the feelings of "like"... And then, well...

The following day, we spent a lazy day together, ordering take out and going out for sweets... I mean, if I didn't know better I would have sworn we were a couple!

Now, I'm also something of a realist, and aware that taking it to bed does not mean insta-relationship. But, given our history... Well, it becomes more than a casual romp session, which therefore makes it a little more complicated.

I haven't done the overly-girly thing and talked to him about what this means - mainly because I'm not ready to define it. But, off the bat, I'd say it just got a little ickier than your average hook up.

But, here's where I put a halt to my "analysis" of the situation... What's going to be will just be, right? Right?

Well, time's going to have to help with that one (As if I don't have my hands full already, right?). But I can tell you I won't be changing my Facebook status quite yet.


  1. I'm in the same the part of a "relationship" where I don't know what the hell is going on.

    It's horribly frustrating, but the thrill can be intoxicating.

  2. Thrill? Well, I'm not so sure it's a thrill. It's too uncertain to be really liberating... Sometimes the uncertainty can be too hazy. And that's not much fun for anyone.

  3. I am in the same boat right now. I am not sure how to define our relationship.