Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Bedtime Play

Just the other night, I managed to catch one of the earliest episodes of the ever popular Sex and the City -- specifically about the idea of whether women can have sex "like men," or without feeling and attachment. While this is not a new topic, and has since been discussed all sorts of ways (including the Today Show) it's still an age old question and what it comes down to: are women able to really have sex in a carefree, breezy way?

On a personal level, this has been quite the obstacle for me. While I have been able to just "roll with the punches," I generally don't feel all that great about the idea that someone I connect with physically won't be around tomorrow. And that, I'd argue, has to do with my personal belief that intimate acts between two people should come from some type of feeling beyond the instant heat that drives most people.

I've been told by many a guy friend that it's easier for them to separate the physical act and sensation (or the strict act of sex) from the emotional connection (or the lovemaking). While I understand the argument, I guess I've always thought that I could not do that kind of thing unless my feelings ran deeper than an urge.

Don't get it twisted -- I have my stories. (**Who doesn't?**) But, I prefer to save my best seduction style for the mate that will keep me fired up way beyond lighting the firecracker if you know what I mean.

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  1. I've done it. However the key to doing it without getting emotionally involved is that you pretty much have to despise the person, or see them in a simply platonic way.

    While it can be done, in my experience the sex is never that great. I've had better orgasms with my 4 year old vibrator.

  2. How do you have sex with someone you despise? See now that would be so hard for me. Some people totally get a kick out of it. I'm just not one of those people...

    So for you, does it only work when you're into someone?

  3. Did you catch "This Emotional Life" on PBS this week? Women can't have sex without getting attached because we carry the seed. We're a helluva lot more invested in the act. Men? They get to walk away and spread some more. . . and that's just the biology of it. You are not alone my dear!

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