Sunday, January 3, 2010

And They Say It's Just a Crush...

So here's the truth: In my dating experiences, I can count the number of times I've approached a guy first on one hand, if that. And I think that's mainly due to fear of rejection although with the release of He's Just Not That Into You, I came to adopt the mentality that a man should want to ask me out (if he wants me, of course). Which is true, I suppose, because it feeds the idea of the chase.

Anyway, what does a girl do when she has a crush? Does she just say something and take her chances? Or, does she hope he comes around after dropping a zillion hints (or none)?

Well, admittedly, I've pulled away from being too honest -- for fear of being hurt (which HAS happened, let me tell you). But is it worth the suspense of never knowing at all?

Back in college, I had a crush on a guy, Justin. I kept it a secret for 13 MONTHS. And, when I finally asked him out, he accepted. And, we had a nice time but it was clear there were no sparks. At all. But, we did manage to stay good friends throughout college. It just took more than a year to get there.

Now, I find myself in a similar predicament. Nursing a crush I've had for a while... Trying to figure out whether I say something or not. And wanting to make sure it doesn't mess up the cool vibe that's been established between us.

So, to flip the script from my usual course of action, I've decided to just say something. And, if he's into me, then lucky, lucky him. :-) If not... Well, at least I can put this crush to bed. Making room for the man that actually wants to be with me.

Don't worry. I'll keep you posted.

Image Credit: SaberChaser


  1. What you describe -- fear of rejection -- is the exact thing guys experience every day. Most men never approach women they're interested in. I've been training myself to over the last year and have had some success, but it's scary at first. OTOH, I can't think of a single time I regretted it, even when I got blown off.

  2. See, that's good to know... But how would you take it if a woman approached you? I seem to hear mixed opinions on that. In some cases, men that prefer women to approach them... And some men still like to do the asking. Now that's tricky to navigate.

  3. Oh the 13 month crush...I remember that. How did you manage the energy for that?!