Friday, January 15, 2010

After the YES

So a little while ago, I confessed to having a crush on a guy who I'll call Nicholas. I've known the guy for a little while, and now that he was single (and it's a new year), I decided to toss my hat into the ring and take my chances. If he dug me, cool. If not... Well, I was hoping like a nervous wreck.

Anyway, I'd meant to ask him out when I saw him in person. But because it was a loud, crazy night, there was no such luck. So, I sent him a quick e-mail. Nothing elaborate -- just mentioned I wanted to see him and hoped we could get drinks.

His response? That we could definitely do it -- things would be a little nutty for a bit, but we'll make it work.

So now I'm at a point where (a) I wonder if he's aware of the fact that I actually like him and asked him out as more than a "friend" thing and (b) whether it's worth keeping the lines of communication up to our proposed "date."

Since I'm a little out of practice on asking the guy out, I'm admittedly a little rusty at this. But the way I see it...

(1) In all the time I've known him, I've never asked him out, nor do we run in any of the same social circles on a regular basis. Therefore, it's not farfetched that he may have an idea that I like him.

(2) I thought telling him too much up front (such as "I've been pining for you for a while") would be a little freaky. Instead, I thought keeping my mouth shut would allow me to tell him on the date if the vibe is there, or chalk it up to two pals getting together.

(3) Because he mentioned being caught up for a couple of weeks and since I made the first move, it would be a good idea to let it marinate for a bit since the date is already on the table.

Oy. So many things to consider. So what's a girl to do?

How's (d) Understanding all of the above, let things fall where they may. The rest will work out how it should.

At least, that seems to make the most sense...


  1. Make it happen.
    Crap, I wanted to cancel this but can't figure out how to do it...
    Okay, well, yes. Make it happen. His life is crazy, your life is crazy too. Too often things get crazy and we overlook things. Guilty as charged.
    Shoot him another email and tell him that your calendar has been filling up and that you want to set a date so that it's ON the calendar. They key is to not sound like you life is your calendar. The date is not set in stone, all things are subject to change. Heck, with the way your schedule is filling up, it's possible that you will have to change plans. Don't demand a date.
    Another idea
    Find a date that something cool is going on that you want to see or do, like... um, I don't know, a book signing or something. Try to pick something that you think he would like as well (do NOT pick something that you have no interest in for the sake of him, this will snap you in the butt). No basket weaving if that's not his thing. "Dude, there is this really cool thing that I've been wanting to do (insert activity). I can't seem to get anyone to go with me and I was wondering if it would fit into your schedule."
    You get the idea.
    Good luck.

  2. VERY good insight and advice. I think the concern here is being TOO forward -- no one ever wants to feel like they're imposing on someone.

    But I also want it to happen to, so I'm going to have to put out there and see how he responds, hoping he doesn't run for the hills.

  3. Mention that you're meeting for drinks (ie moi this friday)and have him come by. Then we'll hang out and have fun and then you can open the conversation up later after a few cocktails :)

  4. Anonymous -- Doesn't getting the guy into the apartment too early set a bad precedence?

    Oh, oh... I smell another blog post!