Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Confidence Factor

So here's the thing: as a woman, I have my waves of doubt when it comes to my looks - I mean, who doesn't? Male or female, that's normal. But, I've prided myself on being comfortable with who I am at the end of the day. I have what I have so I should really appreciate and like the way I look. Besides, I know I find confidence to be sexy trait in who I date.

But, I was out on a Saturday night when -- for a brief moment -- I was thrown off my confidence game. This one guy seemed to be doting on a friend of mine and me at the same time, I guess testing the waters to see who he liked more. The three of us were there, having a good time, when one of his friends (who I'll call "the Jerk") came over to us and told me, rather abruptly, that my friend was cuter than I was. Just like that.

Now, I have to admit, this threw me for a loop and I had to FIGHT from kicking his ass right then and there. So instead, I smiled and told him, "Well, I guess that's a matter of opinion, but I've certainly had no complaints." Then, to add a bit of humor to it all (for me anyway), I shook my head and told him: "And I'm honored to be talking to the hottest thing in here. I mean, I can tell by the swarm of ladies around us right now." Raising one eyebrow, I walked back to join to my friend, his friend and a couple of other people that had joined the group.

I know, I know -- cold, right? Well, this is one of those cases where I'll need to revisit my elementary school roots and say "He started it." I mean, how do you say that to a woman on a Saturday night? I mean, that's enough to make anyone doubt themselves, including people usually pretty confident. And I know I was thrown off for a bit - until I got a little boost with messages from two old flames who were hell bent on seeing me that night, and had drinks sent to me from an even cuter guy I met at the bar. (Seriously, though. It was like crazy how it all worked out.)

I won't even go into my theories on the Jerk's commentary. Besides, in my experience, my issue isn't getting a date - it's how to blow off the ones I'm not interested in.

Point here? A huge part of presenting yourself to the opposite gender has plenty to do with confidence. Don't you notice how the "not so hot" guys can end up with a hot lady? Yeah, that's confidence factor. And, holding onto it can really be the backbone of any person's game.

I'm still not swimming in it, but I certainly have enough to hold my own. Oh, and then there's my killer pair of dimples, which doesn't hurt. :-)