Saturday, April 18, 2009

Training Wheel Dating

Every once in a while, I find a guy who has a past with a little more luggage than an overcrowded O'Hare airport during the Christmas holiday. No kidding. Something (or someone) did him wrong, and he's just nursing his wounds and trying to heal. 

For some reason, a woman did them so wrong, they just need to recover. And I, being the understanding one, offer patience, and trust they'll get through it - because of course, they're that into me and it'll all work out. 

But it doesn't, and then I'm single again (not that this is always bad). But, what is rather frustrating is finding out that the guy I wanted ends up with "The One" right after me. You know -- the lady that will make them do anything. The one they can call girlfriend without flinching. The one that has them so sprung, that they don't mind dropping a weekend with the boys to spend it with her. Or spending several Saturday nights cozied up with her, only to have breakfast in the morning.

Ok, so maybe it's not QUITE that perfect, but close enough. And all it took was realizing that you weren't into the one you were with. "Training Wheel Dating," I call it. 

In the grand scheme of it all, I know that they weren't meant for me. Otherwise, I would be "The One." But, when I am? I know that the one before me will feel just the same way. Truth is, it's just the search you need to go through before you find your match. 

And for me, the search is still on.  

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing...

The past is a funny thing -- just when you thought it was behind you it tends to resurface. And if it's like the situation I'm in now, it keeps resurfacing again... And again... And again...

A little over two years ago I went out with this guy. I'd met him about 4 years ago, and after tons of flirting, it came down that he was into me -- and me into him. Cool, huh? 

So we go out, are having a FABULOUS time and sometime towards the end of the night, I mention that when I started (we met in the same workplace, different departments), I had a crush on a guy we both knew, but it went nowhere. From that point, the night took a huge nosedive. And we haven't gone out on a date since.

We've spoken since then, and he's called me... "I want to see you," blah blah... "It's been forever," blah blah... All these sweet things about how awesome I am (granted, nice to hear) but no commitment about taking this forward. So we end up in this holding pattern, which I think is because its easier to hold on to something while waiting for the real thing. 

Simply put: If  we had a future, it wouldn't be so hard to just make me his one and only. Yet, it's like four years since we met, and two years since our date, yet we cannot get past the rocky hurdle of a sweet-first-date-turned-ugly. Sad, eh?

Which leads me to this: If he's into you, it's usually much easier -- and there would be a lot less of a holding time, if there is any waiting involved.

So what to do now? I mean, a girl does need to pass the time. And he's cute.

Well... No one said I had to commit right now. I am, after all, looking for my own real thing. :-)