Sunday, December 13, 2009

Digital Creepin'

Although I hate to give in to all the Tiger Woods chatter, and especially how text messages gave away his indiscretions, I found this recent story on Good Morning America about texts as the new "lipstick on the collar" quite interesting. According to the article, Tiger sent many of his mistresses racy text messages, and he's not the only one. The story outlines other high profile individuals that got caught -- all with digital trails of less than 160 characters.

This story actually struck a cord with me because it's such an easy thing to do -- text your way to infidelity. In this day and age, I feel like I text conversations more than I have them on the phone. Heck, I've even had dates made by text. Less than ideal but in this day on the go, it happens all too often and easily. Who's to say it hasn't happened to me?

But I digress...

The break-up with my first love, Charles, left me very tenderhearted. While we were on a hiatus, he slept with his ex, getting her pregnant. And so, I cut him off. At first. We then had a limbo thing going while he tried to figure out what he would do. And then she moved in with him, the baby was born and BOOM -- we were done. So I thought.

About a year from our hiatus/break-up, I got a text message from him late at night wondering where I was. I'd been on his mind and he decided to check up on me. And that's when the thread of texting began. How he missed me, how he wanted to see me and still thought about us and the times we'd been together...

Truth? I wrote back -- but kept it very G-rated and asked TONS of questions because I didn't feel right. Granted, I missed him like CRAZY. But a man having a child with another woman while he's with me (even if in limbo) is pretty much a deal breaker.

Anyway, she found his texts a couple of weeks later. And he called me at work, rather frantic to give me a heads up. That conversation was a little sticky:

Charles: Hey, so here's the deal -- she knows.
Me: What do you mean "She knows?" About what?
Charles: She found the messages from a few weeks ago.
(I'm silent at this point)
Me: Are you for real?
Charles: Yeah. You think I would make this up?
Me: So what do you want me to do about it?
Charles: I just called tell you... She and I got into a fight. She was mad. And she may be calling you.
Me: Let her. I have no problem discussing it with her.
Charles: What does that mean?
Me: It means I did nothing. It'll be up to her what to do with you. Hope you get through this but gotta go.

While I never heard from her, I knew at that point that I was lucky to not be with him. Even though nothing happened between us and he was silly for keeping the messages on his phone (Theory: Maybe he wanted to get caught.), he did his own form of cheating by getting secretly suggestive with me while being with another woman. Even if there was no direct sexual violation involved.

It just goes to show that any type of creepin' leaves a footprint -- even a digital one. Just depends on how good you are at covering it up. And many times, it eventually unfolds. I mean, look at Tiger.

But of course, we know how that turns out. So maybe it's a good idea not to play around if you're gonna play sloppy.

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