Sunday, November 22, 2009

Unfinished Business

It takes a lot of practice to just move on from someone when the relationship is over. But, admittedly, since I've become something of a serial dater I haven't had too much trouble in doing so, adopting the "plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea" attitude to dating.

But to keep it real -- I have a thing for revisiting my past every once in a while. Essentially, I allow myself to indulge in "What If" fantasies about men I dated that somehow seem to move on and be blissfully happy with the woman that came right after me. Like, no kidding, it's happened more than once. I end up being the transitional woman that prepares a man for exactly what he wanted but didn't know he wanted until I was out of the picture.

Anyway, all this is to say that I found myself having these fantasies this evening when I received a message from an old fling/flame of sorts. Juan and I met a short while after I came out of a very intense relationship. Not wanting to make him responsible for the experiences before him, I went into it open minded... And surprisingly, I was really into him.

Things started and stopped after that -- I got back together with my ex, then he seemed to want to be unattached... Then he was attached... Never could we get it together.

So, when he sent me a message to my MySpace, hoping that I was still checking it... Didn't know how to react. However, I did know that I wad curious as to whether we had any chemistry left.

Then I thought about it again: Would it be nice to hook up again? Oh yeah... (He was hot and I'm human) But when push comes to shove, it's a sexier thought than it is a reality. After all, when you're feeling someone, it should come out of something naturally - not out of romanticized thoughts. But, then again, those romantic thoughts are OK once in a while... I mean, hell... You need something to keep you warm, don't you?

The Answer to this Mess: Out with the old and in with the new. "Shoulda Coulda Wouldas" are not healthy for anyone. No matter how sexy...

Now, to keep reminding myself of that.

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