Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"Slapped" Into Somethin' Good

So these last few days, while recovering from being terribly under the weather (and confined to my couch), I've been corresponding with Keith, a reader who had a"bad-situation-turned-good" with the object of his affection, a lovely young woman he met while out one night a few days ago. While I have several emails that replay his particular situation, I'll break it down so it's easily digestible, along with the take-aways and the lessons. After all, I think this one makes for a great story of what can happen when a guy is focused!

A Bad Impression: When meeting a woman at a party, they seemed to really hit it off -- they even made a date! However, the script changed when he told her she had a "nice, full hourglass figure," which he thought was a compliment. Instead, she was offended, taking it to mean that she was fat and she slapped him.

My Thoughts Here: While I don't think this is a bad thing (I like the fact that I have a shape), some women may not be comfortable with references to things that imply anything less than "skinny" or "slender." Plus, if she's uncomfortable with her weight and has her own cultural ideas about her body and sexuality, these would be even harder to explain.

Getting Back in the Game (Round 2): Not giving up, he wrote her to apologize. She not only accepted the apology, but went out to coffee with him, where they talked all about it. Turns out that she felt both self-conscious about her weight and a little hyper-sexualized, disappointed that guy she liked was seeing her in such a physical way. But, what she appreciated about him is the fact that he bounced back from the slap, and seemed into her enough to try again.

Since Then: He's e-mailed her, and they even went on another date, with her sister in tow, possibly to feel him out (and which he welcomed!). However, the potential seems great and they're definitely building on the chemistry from the first night before things went awry.

Conclusion? While Keith may have made an initial blunder, he set out to make it right because he wanted the girl. And, because he focused and put his pride aside, things look like they're headed in the right direction, and he's been able to move beyond the bad impression.

The Little Lessons That Keith's Story Enforces:
(a) A Compliment to One is Not a Compliment to All. (This one is especially for the guys!)
(b) It IS possible to recover from a bad first impression.
(b) When a Man Wants You, He Chases. No Questions Asked.

Just goes to show... Sometimes, it can end up with a bow on top! Well, sometimes...

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