Sunday, November 22, 2009

Pulling the Trigger

We all know of the common dating phenomenon when someone you're seeing just up and vanishes - or the disappearing act. But, what do you do when a person goes against the formula and keeps reappearing?

That's exactly what I'd say about a man who continues to appear in my life. Lionel and I met nearly five years ago and after a seemingly nice date, things have been pretty fragmented, to say the least. We've barely seen each other since then but he's had a tendency to call and text me on a very sporadic basis. One time, he texted me and I suggested getting lunch -- JUST to talk and catch up. He agreed... But then called me to say that he didn't want to get anything serious, blah, blah.

So I cut him off. Simply put, I thought he took something casual and made it much more dramatic.

But, how does one explain why he continues to text and resurface in my life? Especially since one single date and his fear of "getting caught up"?

Here it's simple: When it's over, it's over. If you can't pull the trigger with a woman, then why bother engaging her? After a while, it just seems unnecessary.

See, this is where honesty pays off. If you're not interested, don't continue the chase. I mean, you're not even fooling her. And you may be doing everyone a favor.


  1. If he keeps reappearing he likes you. Though his fear of getting into a relationship is high. Probably he had some bad experiences.

    Anyways you decision of not wanting to have anything in common with him is pretty understandable.

  2. @James: I totally understand it when a man may have fears. But I would also think that if he's really into me, he would be willing to try to work through those experiences... Ideally...