Saturday, October 31, 2009

Playing the Field

While I've by and large become comfortable with my single status, I have quite a few friends that aren't quite so in love with it. So, when you're in a big city and always out with them... Let's just say it's an ongoing man hunt. And when the nights don't always pan out like you planned, sometimes you just need to fall back on someone who can make a cold night warmer after the field has been rough to you on a Saturday night.

I know I've had my share of those, but what happens when you want your fall back to stick around for the long haul?

My friend Marisol (often my partner in crime and was the friend I was with during the Jerk encounter), I would say, has one of these situations. Honestly, I don't blame her. He -- or, Will, as I'll call him -- is very attractive. Young, but definitely good looking. He's sweet and at first meeting is kind of quiet. Maybe that was part of his draw, I'm not sure. Anyway, Will's been that on and off for a while and she likes it. At first it was all hot and heavy and then his presence just became less and less... He was here for a while, gone for a bit... Fickle even. But she didn't always seem to mind. Because eventually, he always came around. And it was always fun again.

Now me? I see Will and think of guys like my brother, who, before he settled down with his wife, was notorious for doing his own thing and not being the "settling down" kind of guy. He was always in and out, enough to keep a woman wondering and working for his attention. And boy did they. That was before cell phones were common (I mean hey, that ONLY happened in the last 10 years!) so they rang the home phone curious as to his whereabouts. And some of them even tried to befriend me as his little sister. But I knew the routine.

Eventually, when he started dating his current better half, all the other women seemed to fade. He stopped returning their calls and didn't make plans with other women. Suddenly, he was always with her -- the "one." I saw that transformation happen and I realized that with my brother and his wife, it was easy. He was just there. He didn't disappear. He wasn't fickle.

Ultimately -- and this is me trying to get into a man's head -- my guess is that when they want to be around, they will. Otherwise, they're playing the field. They're simple that way.

I don't know if it's possible to turn an "on occasion" type of guy into a long-term. But doesn't sound like a challenge I want.

1 comment:

  1. I'm with you. I believe that people change because they want to and they're ready to - not because someone wants them to or tricks them into it.