Monday, October 19, 2009

Mating Game = Team Sport + Instant Gratification

Some of the most memorable dating experiences have emerged with a little help from a friend acting as a "wingwoman" to help me zoom in on a particular target. I can remember one great summer involving one of my best wingwomen, Natalie, and a pair of hot British soccer players. We looked out for each other and as a result of a few quick tactics, ended up painting the town red for that night. Ah, the good old days.

See, the truth is, it's often a delicate process. It all starts with mapping out signals and codes for what we do when see something we like, or want to avoid someone. Once out, we scope out the scene and identify a target before starting in ever so smoothly until we get that encouraging glance or that drink sent over to us. Then, the rest falls into place.

Anyway, my old dating days came into mind when a friend forwarded me this article based on an MIT study that guys can improve success rates when traveling with a wingman. However, what I did find interesting when reading the press release put out by MIT was the fact that men and women both agree that cooperation is key but for different reasons: females "to create barriers and thresholds for males," while males "cooperate to gain access to females."

Now this made me smile, only because I can think of multiple times where I've been successful with the opposite sex as a result of having a designated wingperson by my side. (See British Boy example above) And, in thinking about it, I am sure that for the guys I've met out with friends, the fact that I'm in a group is major for them as they think about hooking up their friends, at least for the night.

Reading these things makes me quite aware that dating is very much a "team sport," in some fashion, or a form of playing "The Game" to land that cutie (which was the focus of some commentary when I discussed confidence out on the dating scene just recently). But the reward is superficial -- a night, a few dates, whatever. Not often very lasting, but something in the moment. And something I think the male gender may have mastered a little better than most women.

What am I getting at? When you're out on the scene, I am all for playing the game with a couple of good teammates -- it should provide some immediate fun. That is, as long as you're fine with instant gratification and not overthinking the night (which I know I've been guilty of).

Now, all I want is to understand this whole Instant Gratification thing from the male perspective. Just put me in one guy's head on a Saturday night. That should be plenty of education for me.

1 comment:

  1. All of your last posts are EXACTLY why I want to put together the Singles Party idea where people are out and open with what they are looking for.