Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Casanova

Regardless of your personal dating history, everyone has that one individual in their past that just sent them into a tizzy. You know who I'm talking about: the one that was the guilty pleasure... The one that you knew you shouldn't want - but you did. They seemed so off-limits, so bad for you. And that was what seemed so right.

Well, before I became the wise person I am today (insert chuckle here), I had one of those guilty pleasures that I'll call Terrence. He was smooth, confident, attractive and said all the right things. In short, he had taken a page from the book of Casanova, and somehow caught his hooks into me. In short, I was sprung.

Anyway, we had this whirlwind thing when we started spending time together - stolen afternoons, evenings, mornings... All very sweet and innocent interactions. And, I got a kick out of being seen with a guy so hot and smooth. Not that I didn't think highly of myself, but he was extremely good-looking and I loved every second of it. What an ego boost!

And then the situation changes. He meets my friend at one of his performances (oh, did I leave out he was a wanna be musician?). Yes, so I bring her to one of his shows and soon, I'm long forgotten - he's taken an INSTANT liking to my friend.

After that he starts reaching out to her. Repeatedly. And over the course of several weeks. And while she responded back (let's save that for another blog post), his trying to run that game on her and hit on me made him a CREEP, even more than Jerk. I called him out on it, fought with him and even cursed him out. But, he continued to deny it, letting me know that he still thought of me and he didn't know what I was talking about. Essentially, he was trying to game me.

And here's the kicker: I almost let him. Then, after a LONG rant session with friends, and realizing just how silly he made me, I decided to quit him cold turkey. It was hard. But I did.

Then, this past weekend, I was tested when Terrence sends me a text, wondering (ever so casually) why he hasn't heard from me in a while. Now, at this point I ask myself: "Are you f****** serious?"So, as opposed to devoting energy to this, I deleted the message. There was no way I wanted to keep this alive.

My personal lesson: Even if his eyes do shine a golden brown that give you butterflies and he has a killer smile... All that glitters isn't gold.

That's why it's a good thing that I like other shiny metals like silver.


  1. This type of person, male or female, is like a fake Rolex. They look good on the surface and everyone notices that you have them, but under the surface the mechanics are shotty and the battery sucks. They exist so that everyone notices them and are only useful for this purpose.

  2. I have to admit, I LOVE that analogy - the idea that it's like a "Folex." And that's a prime analogy for the fact that all that glitters really isn't gold. But, in this case, what seems shoddy is the approach? Ego boosting or what, it's hurtful and disgusting to do such things and treat people in such a way. Seriously, is it the high? That's something I just don't get.

  3. The Folex is playing their own version of the game. They are constantly trying to assess their market value and do so by winning the attention of the most appealing person in the room. They know how fake they are and also understand that savvy individuals such as the Diva will also recognize their inadequacies. They don't care about how you feel because they know their encounter with you is short term.

  4. Hurricanes -- Wouldn't it be more direct to just tell someone what you want? If you have that much belief in your market value, then you would be cocky enough to believe that others would JUMP at the chance to be with you. At least that's more authentic.

    With all this conversation of "The Game," I've finally got my hands on a copy and intend to read it - but not before the next post goes up, which I think you'll find of interest.