Thursday, April 16, 2009

Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing...

The past is a funny thing -- just when you thought it was behind you it tends to resurface. And if it's like the situation I'm in now, it keeps resurfacing again... And again... And again...

A little over two years ago I went out with this guy. I'd met him about 4 years ago, and after tons of flirting, it came down that he was into me -- and me into him. Cool, huh? 

So we go out, are having a FABULOUS time and sometime towards the end of the night, I mention that when I started (we met in the same workplace, different departments), I had a crush on a guy we both knew, but it went nowhere. From that point, the night took a huge nosedive. And we haven't gone out on a date since.

We've spoken since then, and he's called me... "I want to see you," blah blah... "It's been forever," blah blah... All these sweet things about how awesome I am (granted, nice to hear) but no commitment about taking this forward. So we end up in this holding pattern, which I think is because its easier to hold on to something while waiting for the real thing. 

Simply put: If  we had a future, it wouldn't be so hard to just make me his one and only. Yet, it's like four years since we met, and two years since our date, yet we cannot get past the rocky hurdle of a sweet-first-date-turned-ugly. Sad, eh?

Which leads me to this: If he's into you, it's usually much easier -- and there would be a lot less of a holding time, if there is any waiting involved.

So what to do now? I mean, a girl does need to pass the time. And he's cute.

Well... No one said I had to commit right now. I am, after all, looking for my own real thing. :-) 


  1. Wow, you did that. Not good. Normally, it takes a guy to do something like that. 'Oh wow, yeah you know her. I used to be so in love with her. blah blah blah.' Translation: 'I love that girl so much or my crush was so big, if she'd wanted meeee, Lord Jesus, I wouldn't be here with you right now probably wasting my time. Literal Translation: Let's take a moment to thank our sponsors, who by rejecting me, in effect cleared my calendar making me available to you. The only way you could have made that worse would have been to talk about some guy you actually dated that dumped you that you never got over, to whom you'd run if he'd but open his arms to you one more time. Dude should have been honest with you about what you did. Had the sexes been reversed and you been a guy and he the girl, there would have been a discussion about it for sure.

  2. Appreciate your insight! While I can't undo what I said, what blew my mind was the insecurity he presented. What I was asking for was not much. And, it actually came up through a question he provoked: "So, what was the deal? Were there any hook ups, crushes during that time? I know you GOTTA know." And that's when it all came out.

    Case in point: It was a whole 2 - 3 years before we'd went out. But yet I was out with the one I wanted. I guess if anything, it would seem laughable. I know more now, though. I've kept my lips a little more buttoned up since then. :-)

    Does insecurity really run that deep?