Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm Just NOT That Into HIM...

For as long as my friends have known me, I've been a serial dater. Like, seriously serial dater. I date, and often. Which means, that like many women, I've met my fair share of guys that just haven't been into me. And like the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You," it becomes clear through many of their actions -- not calling, not sleeping with you, not marrying you and so forth -- that they're really just not that into you. This means they have no desire to take anything to the next level, so they don't have any long term potential (Blogger Jen Kusack sums it up some of the most obvious examples nicely in a recent blog entry. In turn, you end up wasting lots of time with a guy who isn't worthy.

But at the same time, I've met a tons of guys that I haven't been into either. These are the guys that I'll call PTTs - or,"Pass The Timers." They're great guys to have in the interim because they offer some redeeming quality. However, they're not quite long-term boyfriends. You know what I'm talking about: looks, physical attributes, job - there's something that makes them appealing, but not keepers. No, these guys help pass the time until "the one" comes along. 

Because of these PTTs, we find ourselves in indulging the behavior of the guys that aren't that into us: slackers, promise breakers, the non-marrying kind... And the list can go on.

This is when I'm reminded of the wise words of one of my very close gal pals (in Spanish): "Mejor Sola Que Mala Acompanada." Meaning? "Better Alone than in Poor Company."

In short, PTTs can be OK if you realize that what you see is what you get. But, isn't being alone the better option if we're with someone who isn't cutting the mustard? Is it worth that headache? Yeah, I'm thinking that not so much if your short term PTT becomes a long term solution.

So maybe, in this case, if you're with them just to pass the time, then maybe this is just a simple case of YOU not being into HIM. In which case, now you know - and now you can make way for the one you're into... And the one into you just the same.

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