Sunday, November 2, 2008

Dating Just Cause

Here's a truth about me: Historically, I've never been that great at casual dating. That is, dating just because. I never have been, really. To be honest, it's not like I haven't tried (and I've got the field notes to prove it). But it's almost because I find it pointless to date people that you feel somewhat lukewarm about just for the sake of dating them. ESPECIALLY if you know what it is that you want. Blame this on my focused, Type A persona, why don't you?

Granted, I'm still in my 20s, and you SHOULD enjoy that time in your life. Trust me, I have so far. The first few years were certainly great to me (and stories not to be told quite here). However, the fact of the matter is that now that I'm past that phase, dating gets to be a strategic whittling down process.

I know it seems clear that this is the POINT of dating. But my last couple of experiences have enlightened me enough to think that maybe it's not the craziest thing in the world to do -- date without "purpose", that is. Sometimes, it's about the moment. And I wasn't seeing it quite that way before. Plus, the guys I see know I'm not pushing them into anything. I, after all, have my own agenda. And, for now (and until I meet The One), mine is having fun.

Now more than ever is when all that guy advice makes sense to me: don't stress, go with the flow, blah, blah. Understanding this, I think, is the sexiest thing. Maybe even sexier than any little black dress?

Wait, not quite. I don't want to exaggerate it that much. :-)