Monday, August 25, 2008

She Says: "Can't We All Just Get Along?" Well, We Don't HAVE To...

It's inevitable that our friends are going to keep company with all sorts of people -- including those that we don't like. Sometimes we're lucky enough not to see them very often. And then other times, we have the sad misfortune of being in their graces enough so that it's irritating.

The question is, when should we draw the line in showing support for our friend and preserving our sanity to avoid spending time with people that annoy us?

It's easy to get caught up in "courtesy" -- especially if you were raised with some semblance of manners. We want to, after all, try and keep peace with the people we cherish. But I think it's ok to say "no" in your own way. Why fake the funk? If anything, it's arguably more polite to spend less time with them so you don't come off rude when you do see them.

I'm not saying dodge them completely. Going to large parties can certainly mean you won't be forced to talk with them all night. But if it's going to be a group of three? Why not pass?

I find myself in these situations all the time, and with all the Labor Day festivities being planned for the weekend, some friends have also shared stories of events they're not psyched about because of the guest list. 

The choice is theirs but in the end, you may have to consider your friend. How close are they? If that's your pal in crime, and it's a pretty mixed group, it's OK to bear it once in a while. You may not know how many of your friends they can't stand.

But in the end, if it's a person that REALLY rubs you the wrong way, and there won't be that many people... Then it's a case by case. I DO know life is too short to put yourself in too many of those uncomfortable situations. So I'd measure it out. But don't force it. You know your threshold.

Think of it this way: the situations you DO bear can serve for great ammo to have a friend pay you back down the road. :-) 

Sunday, August 24, 2008

She Says: Watch for The Golden Band

So -- in this case I saw why I got the digits. Turns out the cutie that captured my eye wanted to take a minute on the phone, after a fun night of chatter, to tell me how unavailable he was. As in, he's married.

I admittedly didn't stare at his fingers from across the room nor did I stare at them when he gave me his phone number, hands at his side. No, I saw a guy flirting with me, and I did it back.

Now even though this is a prime example to check for the ring, it does worry me a little he didn't think to squelch the situation that night. Nothing happened... But I would be tripped out if my husband did it.

And the crazy thing is he's not the first... One married man (who had no band when I met him) had the nerve to kiss me and then share the fact that he was married.

A gal's gotta wonder: If golden bands mean less, how can you feel confident that he won't buckle to temptation? A little creepy to think that the commitment thing means a little less...

She Says: Getting the Digits. Now What?

So I was out last night in the West Loop for a friend's birthday party. I was with a large group of people having a great time -- but like many single women I did scope the scene, keeping my eyes open for any possible eye candy. After all, looking's never bad... Is it?

And as luck would have it, a cute piece of work caught my eye. While I couldn't help but stare at him, I was admittedly a little shy. Who isn't? I'm comfortable in my looks, and I felt really put together that night. But it doesn't make that "high school nervousness thing" go away.

I told my friend's sister about this, who in response (or maybe it was the vodka from the night talking), dragged me over to the waiting area by the bathroom where he was. She and I started chatting with him and his friends, and I soon came out and told him that we were there because I was drawn to him.

Turns out that the party he was there for was connected to mine - his friend and my friend (birthday girl) are friends. Small world, eh? Therefore, we got much more time to chat.

Before he left, he came over to me and asked whether my "friend" who wanted to talk to him was interested in talking to him. When I reminded him that it was me, he smiled and said he just wanted to make sure to cut through the bull. Gotta admit, I appreciated that. 

In turn, he rattled off his number. And, before he left, he called me out while talking with his friends.

I appreciate his candid, direct approach to get me to cut past my whole momentary "shy" thing. And he even gave me his number, although one CAN argue that it gives him chance to blow me off if he feels like it.

Then why give out the number, right? I know, I know. Now, it's just about calling the guy. And I will. But, I gotta be honest. His approach already has me paying attention. 

Some food for thought: 
How often should a girl get the guy's number? 
As for guys -- I always wonder whether they prefer to get the digits, or give them...