Thursday, November 13, 2008

Breaking Up is Hard... But Letting Go? Yeah...

Here's the truth: I've rarely dated seriously. And, what's more, in the serious dating I've done, I've not had the opportunity to be the "break-up-ee." And, for a type A control nut like me, that's an especially difficult pill to swallow when you grow to care about someone in a way you're not used to caring about someone.

I saw an ex, probably the most "important" ex I've had to date, and it still kills me that we're not together (Oh believe me, that is another VERY interesting story I won't tell now). Anyway, the feelings ran deep, so deep, and while it's all said and done, it kills me to see him and think of what we had... I still miss him, and there are times I want to do nothing more than to pick up the phone and call, or run to his apartment and into his arms and tell him about the crazy day that only he would understand.

But, then I think about the emotional turmoil he put me through and I snap back to attention. "There WAS a reason you broke up," I remind myself.

That makes it better sometimes. But that feeling has a way a resurfacing at your weakest points. Or when your teddy bear isn't enough.

I know that there will be another one to take that place. Until you find "The One," there always is. However, until I get to that point, I stand by my willpower, and know memories are enough until I let myself fall again.

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