Wednesday, September 10, 2008

She Says: "Relationship Status: Texting"

In this day and age, it is SO easy to communicate. The advent of cell phones make it possible for us to be later more often ( I mean, how often have YOU heard: "Hey honey, just leaving right now. Hopping into a cab. I'll be there in 20."), or talk to people no matter WHERE you are (bus, bathroom, on line in a restaurant). AND, phones these days let us supplement personal relationships through meaningful exchanges without actually talking through the power of text messages:

You: It was gr8t to c u! 
Me: U 2! Let's do that more often.
You: 4 Sure.

I had a great talk this evening with one of my closest girls since moving to Chicago. Like many of my amazing female friends, she's a walking powerhouse: great career, independent, sharp, witty and pretty. We'll call her Sassy.

Anyway, in trading stories on our twisted romantic lives, she told me that she's been in touch with a guy she met for the past two months which was great - but it's all by text messaging. He sends her a message each morning, with some flowery compliment, and he's even sent her photos (Man he's hot). But that's all it's been. No plans to meet or anything. Just sweet texting.

Now, I give Sassy credit. She's been rolling with the punches, and responding, not expecting anything, but instead, going with the flow of the situation. She's never been the clingy type, so why start now? Still, it's strange to maintain a conversation with someone by text alone. What in the heck could this mean?

Her own story had me reflect on my own situations. I mean, how many times have I met a guy and let most of the exchanges lie with texting? I certainly haven't taken myself off the market, but I have grown to maintain some semblance of a "relationship" in the form of digital characters on my BlackBerry.

This is one that stumps me, but the only thing I come back to is that it's all about the guy -- it's a new way to get involved without getting committal -- while he tests the waters, he can keep someone in his back pocket. Yeah, that starts to make sense, but then why put the effort? To me, if you're not into it, then just don't be. It's not like any lady is waiting (I know Sassy's not).

But then, if you are interested, what's the big deal in picking up the phone? Skip the text. I don't know about you, but the in person meeting could be just as fun, or MORE so. After two months, there will be plenty to say face to face! :-) 

Help me understand this one (especially the men). What's the kicker?


  1. Diva:

    Sassy's guy is probably juggling 3-5 other girls at the same time. He does want to meet up with Sassy in the future but only when girl #1, 2 or 3 cannot meet up with him. My advice to Sassy would be to not answer his texts and wait for him to call. If he doesn't call then forget about him but if he does never take more seriously than a potential piece of ass.

  2. Tom --

    Thank you very much for your insight. Now I have to wonder why he chooses to juggle more if he does indeed have his hands full. A case of have your cake and eat it too?

    And isn't there a such thing as too much waiting before Sassy should declare that he may not be that into her?

    Keep it comin'!