Sunday, August 24, 2008

She Says: Getting the Digits. Now What?

So I was out last night in the West Loop for a friend's birthday party. I was with a large group of people having a great time -- but like many single women I did scope the scene, keeping my eyes open for any possible eye candy. After all, looking's never bad... Is it?

And as luck would have it, a cute piece of work caught my eye. While I couldn't help but stare at him, I was admittedly a little shy. Who isn't? I'm comfortable in my looks, and I felt really put together that night. But it doesn't make that "high school nervousness thing" go away.

I told my friend's sister about this, who in response (or maybe it was the vodka from the night talking), dragged me over to the waiting area by the bathroom where he was. She and I started chatting with him and his friends, and I soon came out and told him that we were there because I was drawn to him.

Turns out that the party he was there for was connected to mine - his friend and my friend (birthday girl) are friends. Small world, eh? Therefore, we got much more time to chat.

Before he left, he came over to me and asked whether my "friend" who wanted to talk to him was interested in talking to him. When I reminded him that it was me, he smiled and said he just wanted to make sure to cut through the bull. Gotta admit, I appreciated that. 

In turn, he rattled off his number. And, before he left, he called me out while talking with his friends.

I appreciate his candid, direct approach to get me to cut past my whole momentary "shy" thing. And he even gave me his number, although one CAN argue that it gives him chance to blow me off if he feels like it.

Then why give out the number, right? I know, I know. Now, it's just about calling the guy. And I will. But, I gotta be honest. His approach already has me paying attention. 

Some food for thought: 
How often should a girl get the guy's number? 
As for guys -- I always wonder whether they prefer to get the digits, or give them...


  1. Diva:

    A girl should only get a guys number after he has asked for hers. I'd actually argue that you shouldn't get his number until he returns your call for three reasons.

    #1 why have access to a number of a guy who may have no intention on calling you back. This could be dangerous when intoxicated and lonely due to excessive texting.

    #2 If his number is already in your phone you automatically assume a connection has been made. This may not be the case and forcing it may make the next steps more confusing. Allow him

    #3 I don't care how dating has evolved its my opinion that men should always take the imitative to pursue the women. The hunter-gather argument applies here. Feminist may disagree but that is how I see it.

  2. Well, giving you his number took the pressure off of him. If he didn't know you were interested it would be a way of delaying/avoiding rejection.

    In this case he knew you were interested, so it's a way of taking control of "the dance" for lack of a better term. He doesn't have to chase you down in regards to communicating. He now determines when he talks to you.

    I would love for a woman to give me her number without me even asking. I've never had that pleasure. That would be perfect.

  3. That's true - him giving me his number was clever for him. However, in this case, it was so he didn't get caught - he was married and wanted to tell me on the phone.

    That is one phone number I lost VERY quickly.